God Reality? A Testimony (1)

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God Reality? A Testimony (1)

August 29th 2009 22:38

1. The Awakening

"For this reason you come into existence and die”—Jesus, The Gospel of Mary.

A five-year old boy sits on a rug playing with toys in the backyard of his seaside home. Suddenly, he is overcome by a strange sensation: a kind of weightlessness, followed by a falling—down into a bottomless abyss. His stomach churns. He wants to cry out to his grandmother tending the garden just metres away only the cry is snatched from his throat as a feeling of intense fear seizes hold. Then a roaring sound fills his ears, at first distant, then getting louder, closer. And that’s when they materialise, as if thrown from a great height: huge, indescribable black masses the size of motor cars, crashing past all around. He screams in terror and falls unconscious, to wake in the arms of his grandmother a short time later.

Thinking back on those daymares, for want of a better word, some 44 years in the past, images form in my mind, and the residue of those strange feelings rises all too easily to the surface. The clarity of recall is no doubt due to experiencing many of the unnerving events, which thankfully continued only for a year before vanishing as suddenly as their onset. There were not always visions, but the feeling of falling into an abyss and intense fear was prerequisite.
Later in life, a psychologist dismissed them as the machinations of an overactive mind, possibly brought on by environmental circumstances. One thing I do know is a person has to actually be asleep to have a dream or nightmare. What do I think they were? Well, it’s more of what I believe, and that conviction is echoed in the title of this chapter. I don’t class myself a psychic, prophet, or some kind of spiritual guru. Nor is this a tale of weird psychological aberrations. Rather, I am an ordinary man who considers himself incredibly fortunate.

I began this testimony with the dream-events because to me they signified the start of what I have now come to know as a spiritual journey. They were defining moments, profoundly disturbing events that left me feeling there was something more to this world than what we could see and touch. For a time there, it felt like I had a foot in both realms of existence, part of one, yet hadn’t fully left the other.
Too young to form any logical reasoning about what was happening to me, I know of only incredible relief when the daymares stopped. I don’t doubt now that if they had of increased in frequency or continued for much longer I would have struggled to hold on to sanity. To feel like the material world is suddenly ripped out from under you, to experience visions that have no place in the sanctity of daylight and sunshine, to harbour feelings of such dread I felt that I was about to die—it was touch and go there for a while. Before moving on, however, two other profound events occurred before the age of seven that must be recounted to enable a complete spiritual picture to be formed. One brought death, the other life.
(Cont.)

God Reality? A Testimony (1)

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